Published: November 4, 2012, in CommentaryPhotos



The wife pointed this one out to me.

First of all, why are oats a “major” breakfast cereal grain?  Are there “minor” breakfast cereal grains?  What exactly are the criteria for achieving “major” breakfast cereal grain status?  Do you have to win a certain number of electoral votes, or be consumed by a specific number of breakfast eaters?  Who is tracking this information?  What do the third-party breakfast cereal grains have to say about it?

Furthermore, what makes a grain a “breakfast cereal grain?”  Are oats prohibited from other meals?  If I eat oats for lunch, will I die?  You can’t just throw an assertion like this out there without including the appropriate safety & health information along with it.  People’s lives are at stake.

And finally, the asterisk.  Anytime you declare something at me with an asterisk on it, it makes me want to get a bowl of popcorn and eat it with a smirk on my face at you.

“Uh huh, no, do go on.”

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